it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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