last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Damn victory sex feels great
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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