You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
