at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
