You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
