I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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