I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
