Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
