Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
the room spins SO much faster in panama
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize