wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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