i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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