Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
