We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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