It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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