I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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