I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
