He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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