just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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