and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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