Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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