Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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