Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize