I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My breasts were aching with rage.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
