weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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