Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
