i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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