I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
