matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize