Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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