I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
