if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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