'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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