I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
