I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i believe in u and ur pee
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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