do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This is the high leading the old right now
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
