I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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