I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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