I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
