you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
