Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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