Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
