I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Randomize
