I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize