Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize