I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
