My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
