I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
