if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she told me i tasted like america
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
