you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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