WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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