Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
