Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
