As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
