ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Sorry about my life...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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