Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
