I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
