doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
