remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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