I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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