Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
